You know you are a parent when...

just for a bit of fun

You know you are a parent when...

1. You are drowning in clean laundry...

2.  Your draining rack features as many craft items as it does eating utensils...

3.  For everything you own that is dangerous (and therefore interesting) you have a fake/toy version...

4.  You consider yourself lucky to have gone to the toilet and only returned to this little mess...

5.  Every cupboard that has something breakable in it features a plastic equivalent...

6.  Running out of bananas meant you had to use all your best peace keeping skills (and make an emergency trip to the supermarket)...

7.  Finding cream cheese on your hair brush isn't odd...

8.  If you fancy a bath you must first wade through this lot...

9.  Getting to put your feet up for a few minutes is a note worthy event...

10.  You have no idea how you would function without these...

11.  You love your small people more than words could ever express...

You know you're (back) in Scotland when...

I am sure you would all love to see some photos of the house but we're waiting till a bit more unpacking has taken place first.  For now I thought you'd like my top ten observations on things I have noticed about being (back) in Scotland...

1. You hang your washing out to dry then pack a waterproof coat for going for a walk, all in the space of 15 minutes.

2. Cash machines give you Scottish bank notes.

3.  People have Scottish accents (I know this is obvious but it is still taking me by surprise).

4. Renting a house is not nearly so expensive as it was when we lived in England!

5.  There are hills, it is difficult to push the buggy up them.

6.  People and houses are further apart, there is more space.

7.  Just because it is warm doesn't mean it is dry.

8.  The water tastes amazing and tea doesn't have "bits" floating in it.

9.  Driving for an hour to get to the nearest "thing" is just what you need to do because "things" are just that far away.

10. Your local news (certainly on the BBC) covers 5 million people and more 30,000 square miles (so isn't all that local).

Things I thought I'd never do...

"I'll never do that!" "I'll never say that!"

We all have things we thought we would never do or say with or to our children, someone I follow on twitter thought they'd never use alcohol hand gel after a nappy change, they'd always wash their hands properly.  They *thought* that's what they'd do!

So here are some things I'd heard parents do, that I genuinely thought I'd never, ever do (but do)!

1. I do actually put my finger inside my children's noses to remove snot!
2. Let my child have a fourth biscuit in ten minutes because I just don't have the energy to say no any more.
3. Make a cup of tea that I not only don't finish but in fact don't even start.
4. Give my child a biscuit to make it be quiet.
5. Put cbeebies on to babysit my child for a minute or ten.
6. Walk my child around in a buggy for an hour in the vain hope that it will make them fall asleep.
7. Use a dummy
8. Leave the house already covered in sick and aware of this fact without first changing my clothes.
9. Shout at my child (Although I suspected this one might prove too hard, I had this crazy idea I would remain calm and in control and always use appropriate non-shouting discipline)
10. Use my finger, covered in my own saliva, to clean a child's face.

And in related but happier news, I never really thought I'd paint with my child, I thought it would stress me out to much but here is Naomi and I enjoying a happy afternoon painting pictures (Miriam did some footprints too)